Caleb Jacobo. (1988–PRESENT). Initial Draft.
Public Writing Journal. 2014.
at fifty feet above the field She rose;
somewhere stooped aloof martin breached His bush.
Then at ten feet Her dented sepals spread;
so There in His bush martin hid His eyes.
Then at five feet She spoke invitingly;
so from There martin went with fruit to hear.
Here She starts with, “you,” and Ends hand in hand;
Now martin Means to say much, but answers:
“martin, martin, martin, martin, martin!“
Then martin knew sheouit completely.
Then He left sheouit with the whole sprig;
There at five feet martin missed sheouit.
Then martin manifested an image;
There at ten feet martin classified Her.
Then entangling Her in brambles — to set —
Here Now at fifty feet martin waits — for It.
This poem is about one man’s inability to connect with other people in participatory relationship. It explores the topics of relationship, love, and the human condition.
Since this public writing journal is for readers and writers alike, I’ll give a little background on this poem: It was written as an exercise in making the short form of the poem do more work for me. In such a short poem, with so much information to convey, it took a tremendous amount of planning of word choice, conceit, capitalization, allusion, repetition, breaking of repetition, etc.; and especially strategic syntax and a laser-like focus on, and an obsessive return to, the thesis vision. This was an intense, challenging experience.
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